We're peeling back the layers of expectation to uncover the vibrancy of living in alignment with who you truly are. Join me for a heartfelt exploration of what it means to be genuine in a world that often values conformity over individuality. I'll share my personal revelations on the power of individuality and how embracing our unique talents and experiences isn't just liberating—it's essential for a purposeful existence.
This episode is more than just a conversation; it's an invitation to a community that celebrates the real you. We'll navigate the intertwined paths of vulnerability and authenticity, shedding light on how they weave the fabric of deep, meaningful connections in our lives. I'll offer up personal stories and actionable advice to encourage your own journey of self-reflection and growth. Trust me when I say that honoring your authenticity isn't a solo mission. Together, we'll affirm the courage it takes to live authentically and with intention, making every step of your journey an act of purposeful self-discovery. Let's raise the bar for living not just any life, but a life that's unapologetically yours.
We're peeling back the layers of expectation to uncover the vibrancy of living in alignment with who you truly are. Join me for a heartfelt exploration of what it means to be genuine in a world that often values conformity over individuality. I'll share my personal revelations on the power of individuality and how embracing our unique talents and experiences isn't just liberating—it's essential for a purposeful existence.
This episode is more than just a conversation; it's an invitation to a community that celebrates the real you. We'll navigate the intertwined paths of vulnerability and authenticity, shedding light on how they weave the fabric of deep, meaningful connections in our lives. I'll offer up personal stories and actionable advice to encourage your own journey of self-reflection and growth. Trust me when I say that honoring your authenticity isn't a solo mission. Together, we'll affirm the courage it takes to live authentically and with intention, making every step of your journey an act of purposeful self-discovery. Let's raise the bar for living not just any life, but a life that's unapologetically yours.
Welcome to Living in Purpose On Purpose. I'm your host, jamie Hensel, and welcome to my podcast. What's up y'all? It's your favorite podcast host, jamie Hensel, and welcome back to Living in Purpose On Purpose Podcast. Before we get started, just a few requests. If you can go on Instagram and follow us at Living in Purpose On Purpose and also like us on Facebook at Living in Purpose On Purpose Podcast. Now, last week we did do a thing and we launched our very own YouTube at Living in Purpose On Purpose Podcast. Make sure you like, share and subscribe Now without further ado.
Speaker 1:
We're going to go ahead and get into our topic of the day, but I just wanted to let you guys know that I really appreciate you tuning in today, whether it's the audio or the visual, and I just hope you come back again Now. As you can see by the title BU everyone else has already taken, I really thought that I should talk about being authentic this year. It's still fairly the beginning of the year and the new year, and I just really feel like we should start this year off on being our true selves and being true to who we are Now before we start. I also wanted to define what it means to be authentic. Now, if you've listened to a lot of my podcasts before, I usually always define the word based off like a Google definition or a Webster dictionary or whatever the case may be. But this time I was feeling inclined to really give you guys my definition of what it means to be authentic, or the definition of authenticity. Now, when I say my definition, this is what I feel like it is. I did not get this from any outside source. This is just me kind of pondering on what it really means to be true to who you are, and this is how I feel. Now, everyone else's definition may be different, so be sure to define it how you would define it for yourself, but again, for the sake of me educating and inspiring on this podcast, this is just my definition.
Speaker 1:
So, first things first, I believe that being authentic means that you are true to yourself, true to your values and true to your beliefs. That's like the core to all of it. Honestly, I'm going to give you guys a few more points on what it means to be authentic, but essentially, that's exactly what it means You're true to who you actually are. You are you and only you, unapologetically, but also everything that you value and all your beliefs that you have, and maybe even morals. You really take in and assess that and say, okay, this is how I am, this is how I want to live and I'm going to be me, no matter what, no matter who says what, no matter who is doing what. This is what I believe is true to me and that's the key to living your purpose on purpose. If you are not true to yourself, you cannot be true to anything else. You definitely can't be true to your purpose. So that's the first point.
Speaker 1:
The second point is that you are not conforming to society's pressures or expectations. We know that in today's society there are so many pressures on all of us, not just women, not just men, but literally everybody. We have all of these expectations that, oh, men should be doing this by this age, for not just women, but for themselves, for their children, for X, y and Z. Same thing for women. Oh, women, you should be doing this and you should be doing that, you should be saying this, you should be looking at it this way and all these different things. So, being authentically you, you don't take those things in and change who you are, based on what society says and the pressures that they put on you. You're not doing that because you're you and, of course, we're trying to become better. So I'm not saying, sit here in your mess and stay the way you are Now. If it's something that's beneficial to push you to be a better person or to push you to be more purposefully living in your life, then by all means change those things. As you learn, you know better, you do better. So as you learn and you acquire this knowledge, yes, of course, make sure you change, make sure you work on changing, but if it's things that makes you, you don't ever feel like you have to change yourself because of other pressures or expectations.
Speaker 1:
Now the next one is my favorite because it's embracing your uniqueness. I know for a fact that I'm a very unique individual. A lot of times I do things that a lot of people may not do, or I am just that type of person, and sometimes people will comment on it and say, oh, you're not like this, you're not like that, or I thought you would be like this and you're not like that. I love being unique. I believe that uniqueness is the key to being authentic. It makes you you. Everyone is different. There's no person on this earth that is the same. We're all different, even if you have a doppelganger and you may look like someone else, or even you may meet someone you're like oh my gosh, I love them. They act just like me. They may act very similar, but they're not you like. You're not the exact same person, and that's because we're all authentic and we're all unique. So that's another key point.
Speaker 1:
Lastly, I believe that everyone have their own talents, experiences and perspectives, and that makes you authentic. That makes you you. So I feel like you should never try to lessen what you do, as far as the things that you're able or gifted to do because of any type of pressures of society, like we mentioned before or anybody else, and also the experiences you go through. You should never try to change what you go through or how you gain from that, because you want to be someone else. If you're true to who you are, allow those experiences to change you in the right ways, in the proper ways to help you live in your purpose on purpose and keep it moving. Those are the key things I feel like of what it means to be authentic and to live your life in an authentic manner and, like I said, in order for you to live in your purpose on purpose, you absolutely have to be authentic, because if not, you're simply not living your purpose. Is your purpose, you're doing it on purpose. If you're doing it for someone else, or the hopes of being someone else, you're not living your purpose. You're living in theirs. So we want to make sure that we are able to define what it means to be authentic, so you can move properly.
Speaker 1:
Now we're talking about authenticity and then we're talking about purpose and we're trying to see okay, jamie, where are these two things going together? Why are we talking about these two things? Right now? Your teaching us how to live in our purpose on purpose. What does authenticity has to do with it? Well, we discussed a little bit about why, or what is defined as, but now we want to talk about why is it important?
Speaker 1:
Like I mentioned before, if you're trying to be someone else, you're no longer living your purpose, you're living in someone else's. So, in order for us to live in our purpose, we have to actually live in our own skin, live in our true self, and without doing that, you're not going to be able to discover your purpose. So I guess I could say the very first step to live in your purpose on purpose is being authentic. So that's like the official thing y'all. I'm pretty sure I did an episode like this before, maybe not talking about authenticity, but if whatever I had before, this is the new official first answer.
Speaker 1:
The first step to living in purpose on purpose is to become authentically you and whatever that looks like. That's up to you, because you have to assess that and reflect on that. But in order for you to align your purpose with where it's supposed to be, you have to be your true self. Now, if you're not authentic and you're not trying to live in your purpose because if you're not authentic, you're not trying to live in your purpose you won't have things in your life that are purposeful paths. You'll find yourself on multiple paths that you feel like was pointless, that it didn't do anything for you, or it was a big circle. You know, okay, I just went through all of this, I just wasted two years of this and I didn't learn anything. I didn't get anything out of that. I wasn't successful in this or that, and that's because you weren't authentically you.
Speaker 1:
If you're not authentically you, you're not going to have purposeful paths, because those things that you're doing is no longer aligning with those values, in those passions that we spoke about before and how to define authenticity. So, in order for you to move forward on the right paths, on the purposeful paths, you have to be able to be authentic with yourself and also authentic with the outside world, because sometimes we all know we can put on a good job of doing it, facade, and we may try to show ourselves to be a way that we're really not, and that's not being authentic either. So you may be your true self in some ways, but in those areas, even when it's time to connect with different people or put yourself in different positions, you want to make sure that you're always showing who you truly are, because that's what's going to make sure that your paths are going to align and push you into purpose and not into all of the mistakes and all of the wasted time because you weren't being who you are. Why not be authentic? This is the big question I feel like I always ask when I see certain things or certain people that I know personally or new of personally, and I'm like why don't no one want to be their selves anymore? And like it's super fun, I know it is for me. I mean, I know I'm a big ball of goofiness, but it's for the most part I like being myself and I love being authentic.
Speaker 1:
Because for me I don't know about y'all, but it's hard to pretend you ever been in a place where you kind of damn really want to be there and you're trying to like put on to make sure everyone don't know that you don't want to be there. It's very hard, it's very difficult. You sit there. You're like I cannot wait until the second that we leave here. I'm so tired. I'm so tired of like smiling and waving or even like not saying anything or not being yourself. You're just uncomfortable. You don't feel as good, you just feel bad. And a lot of times I feel like why would you want to go through that? Be authentic, always show up as your authentic self, so why not be authentic?
Speaker 1:
I feel like the official reason why a lot of people may not want to be authentic is because they have fear of judgment or they have fear of people rejecting who they actually are. And to those people who have a fear of the judgment or the fear of rejection, I still go through that. I have those moments where I feel like well, if I really act like I want to act, not that is out of the way, but just because it may not be receptive for the people I'm around, will they look at me a different way or will they feel this way about me, or will they talk about me later when I leave, or will they talk about their friends in a group chat about me, and then I'm like you know who cares? Who cares? Because those people are just not your people and that's okay.
Speaker 1:
A lot of times we in the society feel like we have to be accepted by everybody, and I'm not saying that's a bad thing, because I've been doing that. I've been through a season where I just wanted everyone to like me and I'm just like okay, well, if they don't like me, what is it about myself that I'm supposed to change? Because everyone is supposed to like me and that is not the case. That is not the case and I know a lot of times, especially we as Christians, will talk about how well they didn't like Jesus. They definitely about to like me is, unfortunately, but fortunately, sometimes that's the case and it's like why would they like me when the very God that lives in me they didn't like either. So it makes sense. And once I adopted that mindset and said you know what? Everyone don't have to like you, jamie, it's okay. It's okay because you're not meant for everybody. Everyone does not have to have a place in their life for you. Also, people that come in and out of your life, it's okay. They came in for a season, they go out for a season. In that stat, it's okay.
Speaker 1:
You don't have to always fix or mend Relationships because you are fearful of the judgment or the rejection, or you've been through a lot of rejection and you don't want to go through it again and again and again. So you slowly but surely start to change yourself and say, hmm, I don't want to be rejected, no more. So I'm not gonna be authentic no more. Because every time I authentic, they walk out of my life, or every time I'm authentic they judge me. Those are not your people and that is okay when you're living your purpose on purpose.
Speaker 1:
Sometimes it takes a lot of ups and downs to find the people that are meant to be in your lives, and sometimes it may take a while, it might take decades, you never know. But once you find those people, I promise you it will all be worth the wait and you're gonna like dang. I'm so happy that I was myself, because now every relationship that is connected to me personally Feels like a breath of fresh air. It does not feel like a A rope around my neck. It doesn't feel like I'm Shackled to the bottom of the ocean because I'm constantly drowning in being someone that I'm not. You're able to live freely and abundantly in everything that you are. So that's why you should not be afraid to be authentic. And when we are talking about being authentic, don't question it, just do it. Just be your natural self, and I promise you your future self and your future connections will thank you later.
Speaker 1:
Now, after listening to this podcast, you're probably like okay, jamie, how can I be more authentic? Because it's okay. You don't have to feel like you have it all together, like we're here all for the same purpose. I had to learn this also. So don't feel like, oh, I'm authentic and you know you're really not. Go ahead and do the self-reflection and just be better. That's all we're here for. We're just here to live in our purpose on purpose together. Not because I have it all together and I'm already living my best life on purpose. No, it's also me taking this journey with you.
Speaker 1:
The reason why I've been here for 20 seasons is because I'm constantly learning life as well. I have plenty of things to talk about because I'm currently Living in experiencing everything that I talked to you guys about. So, being that you want to know how you can be more authentic, I'm going to tell you how. I have three points. I'm very quick on how you can be more authentic in your everyday lives. So number one self-reflection.
Speaker 1:
I know we talked about this briefly on episode one of this season 20, but you have to self-reflect, and when I say you have to self-reflect, I mean get down to the nitty-gritty, like you're talking to yourself. You don't have to put on, you don't have to be reserved because you're speaking to somebody. You don't want to be judged and all the other things. You're literally talking to the person that you're with every single day, which is yourself, other than guys. You know yourself better than anybody else. So to self-reflect should be nothing, but it is something and sometimes it's very hard. Sometimes you have to write it down. Sometimes you can record.
Speaker 1:
I used to do voice notes on my phone and literally talk to myself about myself and say I know it sound a little, a little crazy, all, but I promise it wasn't like that. But I would literally do almost like a Video diary, but just audio, and I would just say, okay, today I had these situations pop up. It made me feel like this. I responded like that. I don't think I should have, but I did okay. How can I fix this for next time? And it honestly helped. And sometimes I would record angry and I would be upset and I wouldn't have the proper answer right then, even though it was hours later, and the next day I would go back and listen and say, dang, okay, let's reflect on that. Because, girl, you was tripping or no, that was true. And you said boundaries, that was fine, you, you, you did what you needed to do.
Speaker 1:
So first things first, you have to self-reflect. It may be difficult at first, but the more you do it, just like anything else, the more Easy or more easier it's gonna become over and over, from doing it so much, just like when you go to the gym. It's really hard those first few days, maybe even weeks, but once you get into habit of doing it and you, you broke that 30-day mark or 60-day mark or whatever it's like you're waking up and it's Literally like oh, is Jim, is Jim, day is go time. It's so easy because it's something that you became used to or you created that habit to do it. So make sure you're self-reflecting.
Speaker 1:
Secondly, you wanna surround yourself with people who push you into being authentic and pushing you into your purpose, but they also celebrate you when you do those things. Sometimes people are connected to you and they say, oh yeah, be you, girl. Like no judgment. This is judgment-free zone, but it's very much judgment and sometimes you do certain things that you hear about it later or they bring it up later or whatever. And again, this is not to give you the excuse to not be a good person. This is not what this is. This is living your purpose on purpose. So these are things that we deem to have value for you, to keep your integrity and those morals and those beliefs and things like that. So if you're being a bad person, your friend is holding you accountable.
Speaker 1:
Do not quote me and say well, jamie told me to be authentically meet. No, we like to grow around here, we like to evolve. We do not even like to be the same person we were yesterday If we want to grow and live in our purpose on purpose, we have to change every single day. I promise you there's one thing in each day that you can learn from, and that's what we're gonna do. And it's really easy to do those things when you have people around you or connected to you who push you to be greater. And sometimes that means pushing you to be authentically you. A lot of us are great people. Granted, we all have room to grow, but we're great. We're good individuals that people love to be around and love to be seen with or to experience, to create those memories with. And if only we would really assess and say, dang, I really love being who I am. Your friends can celebrate you.
Speaker 1:
So make sure you have people around you that's connected to you, that will support you to do those things and not pretty much push you to be phony and push you to do things that's not you. Even in certain season in our lives, we may be in a season where, financially, you have to make better decisions. You have to have people in your life that's a part of being authentic and say, hey, right now I'm trying to save, I'm trying to get this big purchase or I'm trying to invest in this and your friends should be there to support you being authentic and say you know what? Yes, so every time you hang out, y'all don't have to go spend bottles in a section or spend money in a section because they say, hey, I know my friend is being authentic with me and saying that they want to save for investments or save for this purchase for their family or whatever the case may be. So I'm gonna respect that, I'm gonna celebrate them doing that and guess what we're gonna do? Okay, cool, let's go to the bookstore hang out, let's go study if you're in school, whatever the case is, those are the people that you wanna connect yourself with because they celebrate you being authentic.
Speaker 1:
Lastly, we wanna embrace being vulnerable. I know a lot of times, especially for our men, who are our listeners out here, that's like saying a curse word. If a man wants to be vulnerable with not even just a woman, but especially other men, it's like literally the worst thing in the world. Like you just cuss them out and you're just like whoa, I'm just trying to open up and being authentically myself, and a lot of times people don't want to do that because they feel like they're gonna be judged Again, going back to the reasons why a lot of people are not authentic, especially our men out there.
Speaker 1:
But I do encourage you to be authentic. You have to open up and be vulnerable. Same with us women, especially us women of color. Sometimes, when we have big feelings or we have any type of emotions, we are considered to be like this angry black woman because we are pretty much saying the things that people don't want to hear, or it's the way we're saying it, or just because we have any type of emotion. And I will say that. Do not let that deter you from being authentic. Be true to yourself Again.
Speaker 1:
People who are not intimidated by you, or people who support you, or people who believe that being authentic is real and raw and amazing. They're not going to make you feel bad for being vulnerable and make you feel bad for living your purpose on purpose, because that's all we're trying to do. We're just trying to make sure that we are doing what we were called to do, trying to learn what we're supposed to do, trying to do that purposely and obviously live a fulfilling life. We're not trying to live a life that's full of nonsense and wasted time and wasted money or wasted experiences. We're trying to fulfill our life with purposeful living and to also be fulfilled in it, because sometimes, even when we try to live in our purpose, we honestly feel drained or we feel like we're not really experiencing life, and that's not the life we're trying to live. So, yes, you can live in purpose, but make sure you're doing it on purpose.
Speaker 1:
That's why I called this podcast Living in Purpose, on Purpose, because you have to do much more than just living in your purpose. You have to do it purposefully or you're not gonna be fulfilled. You're gonna just feel like you're doing a whole bunch of things and you're going around in a big old circle, and sometimes you can be going up the mountain, going down the mountain, whatever the case is, but if you're not doing it on purpose, you're gonna feel like you're wasting time, even though you're going in the right direction. But it's just the intent and the intentionality behind it that makes the big difference. So I know this episode was a lot of information, but I hope that you took a look within yourself and questioned yourself and asked yourself okay, am I being authentic? Am I being honestly and truly and fully authentic with myself, and not only with myself, but the people around me, and I hope that you learned something in this podcast today that helps you to be true to who you are and to be you, because, of course, everyone else is already taken.
Speaker 1:
So thank you for tuning in today. I appreciate you supporting me. Of course, like I always say, make sure you live life on purpose, but I also wanted to let you know to make sure you live life authentically. I'll see you guys next week. Bye, I can't believe. I just did that. Oh, oh.